For about a month, I had a nagging ache in my left elbow. Nothing dramatic—just there whenever I leaned on it or reached for something. Like so many of us living with chronic pain, I put it down to stress, anxiety, or perhaps starting something new, and carried on.
At the time, I thought my elbow was the problem. Looking back, I wonder if it was trying to tell me something instead.
If you’ve experienced pain that lingers without a clear cause—an ache that moves, tension that won’t ease, or symptoms your doctor can’t quite explain—you’ll probably know the quiet uncertainty that can come with it.
We’re often taught to look for damage: a tear, an injury, or wear and tear. Yet sometimes scans and tests don’t fully explain what we’re feeling, and the pain continues.
For some people, this may be an indication of neuroplastic pain—pain that is real but influenced by the way the nervous system has learned to respond, rather than by ongoing structural injury.
Then the football came to Boston.
If you’re Scottish, you’ll probably have seen it: the Tartan Army arriving in their thousands, bagpipes echoing through the streets, a whole American city awash with Scottish flags, tartan and a sea of blue, with people learning the words to our songs.
I picked up my phone and smiled, wondering what all the excitement was about.
Then something shifted deep inside me.
You don’t always realise how deeply certain sounds, places or memories are woven into who you are. For me, it was the sound of the pipes. They reached somewhere words couldn’t, bringing my dad instantly to mind.
He would have loved every minute of it. I could picture him in the pub, arm wrapped around a pint, singing along with everyone else and willing Scotland on.
Over the next couple of days, I found myself grieving him in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to before. I let the sadness come instead of pushing it away.
Somewhere during those two days, I noticed something else.
I hadn’t been trying to make it disappear.
I wasn’t expecting it.
I simply noticed that it was no longer there.
I’m not suggesting that everyone’s pain has an emotional cause, or that every ache will disappear once emotions are expressed. Our bodies are far more complex than that.
But for me, the timing felt meaningful, and it deepened my understanding of the mind-body connection and the way our nervous system can sometimes hold onto experiences we’ve not yet fully processed.
There’s a growing body of research exploring this connection.
Approaches such as Pain Reprocessing Therapy recognise that, in some cases, the nervous system can continue producing genuine physical pain even after tissues have healed, or when no structural explanation fully accounts for ongoing symptoms.
The pain is real. Even when there’s no obvious injury, the experience of pain is genuine, and that’s an important distinction.
Sometimes, our nervous system may simply be responding to patterns it has learned over time—including stress, fear, loss, or unprocessed grief.
For me, my elbow became a gentle reminder that there was grief asking to be acknowledged. Once I allowed myself to feel it, my body no longer seemed to need that particular signal.
Whether the two were directly connected or not, the experience taught me to listen to my body with more curiosity and compassion.
This understanding sits at the heart of the work I do, supporting midlife clients living with chronic pain, anxiety and loss. Together, we gently explore how the nervous system, emotions and the body interact, creating space for healing without judgement or pressure.
So my invitation to you is simply this.
If you’ve been living with an ache, tension or discomfort that seems to linger, perhaps pause for a moment this week and listen with curiosity rather than frustration.
Ask yourself gently:
“What might my body be trying to tell me?”
There may not be an immediate answer, and that’s okay.
Sometimes healing begins simply by paying attention.
If you’d like someone to explore that journey alongside you, I’d love to support you. You don’t have to carry everything on your own.
Donna Nicol supports midlife clients living with chronic pain, anxiety and grief by blending Pain Reprocessing Therapy with energy healing. She works online and from Aberdeen.